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20X40 // Ami’s New Series is All About Self-Care!

This is a completely different blog post than what we normally cover on our blog. To be clear, this is Ami writing and boy do I have a lot to say. First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this, I know this isn’t our typical kid-centric content, but I feel like this is equally as important and I am ready to share what’s been on my mind for a while. Buckle-up, this is about to get wild: We are talking about self-care!

This Blog is For the Moms.

Dads feel free to stick around and learn, but I want other moms to hear this message because I desperately needed to hear it. 

You Have to Prioritize Yourself. 

If you read nothing else, I need you to read that today. This truth has been something that I have struggled with since the girls were born. I know I am not alone in this and before you come at me for saying that, I feel that I should clarify. I am not saying that we need to neglect our kids, husbands, or jobs and just focus on ourselves. What I am saying is that we are humans underneath all of the titles and job descriptions of mom, wife, and employee and we need to take care of ourselves or we will never be able to function.

This Has Been On My Mind For a While.

This topic didn’t just come out of the blue for me. I have been trying to think of a way to get my YouTube Channel back up and running and decide what kind of content that I want to be creating. I couldn’t place it, but something just wasn’t working. I didn’t want to be a tutorial person or a daily routine person. I am not bashing those videos, I’m just not passionate about it. I was trying to figure out where my passions did lie and in the process, I figured out that I had put myself on the back burner for so long that I didn’t even know what I enjoyed most in life outside of my kids and my husband. 

I couldn’t remember who I was. My identity laid solely in the fact that I was a wife and mother and it began to feel like the life that I lived before marriage and kids was some long-forgotten dream. Let me be clear, I do not regret my kids or my marriage. I am so happy with Justin and Ava, Alexis, and Jersey are my joy. I just need to realize that taking care of me and remembering that I am a person with hopes, needs, and dreams has to be important to me too. 

What’s Expected of Me…

As a mother and a wife there are certain expectations and “rules” that you are subjected to. Most of them are completely ridiculous. You can’t be sexy, complain, cry, sleep, quit working, work, put your kids in daycare, be a housewife, be single, go out with your friends, or work from home. These double standards are enough to make me sick and I hope you see that too. Women have to behave and look a certain way to be accepted in our society but it’s 2021 and I believe that it’s about time to shut this down. The saddest part is most of the judgment is coming from other women! We need to start changing the language to encouragement and positivity and lift each other up. We have enough to deal with without going after each other. 

Ok, I’m stepping off that particular soap box for the moment. 


All of this has pushed me to create a series called 20X40 where I complete 20 Me-Centered things before I turn 40 next year. I have already started this video series and you can find my first and second videos on my YouTube channel. But, since we are here I may as well give you the full list of the things that I want to accomplish this year. This is in no particular order and really all of these things have different meanings for me. So, here’s my list:

  1. Grow my edges by any means necessary. 
  2. Wear everything in my closet before I buy anything new.
  3. Tell my parents how I feel about my childhood.
  4. Clear up rumors and tell my truth. 
  5. See a Dermatologist.
  6. Play Basketball again.
  7. Have a girl’s weekend – NO KIDS
  8. Go to therapy.
  9. Go to Marriage Counseling.
  10. Ask my kids how I can be a better mom. 
  11. Start my business. 
  12. Learn how to braid and cornrow. 
  13. Go on a Honeymoon
  14. Have a full day of self-care and pampering.
  15. Spend a day with each kid individually. 
  16. Raise my credit score.
  17. Get a tattoo.
  18. Go to Nigeria
  19. Be able to do 20 push-ups and 20 pull-ups 
  20. Go to Greece. 

I go more in depth about these in my recent videos and of course as I document them, you will get more background. 

What do you think about the list? I encourage you to make a list of your own and join me as we go on this crazy adventure. Let’s show ourselves what we are capable of and who knows, we may even change the narrative. 
Don’t miss this series! Subscribe to my YouTube Channel and follow me on Instagram for updates and videos about my road to 40. Also, subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive content every week!

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