Leaving My Children // A Mother’s Guilt
I am struggling.
This is my first time leaving my kids and I am going to do my best to express to you the struggle that I am having. This will be hard to get out on “paper” but I know that a lot of you have gone through the same guilt and I think it’s worth talking about.
So I have to go to New York for a few days to see my doctor. I have to have a scar corrected and I don’t want to have to go through the process of finding a new surgeon here in Atlanta. I tried to wait out the pandemic so that I felt better about taking the kids with me, but I put it off long enough and now it’s time to travel to New York.
Mom Guilt is Real
This whole process has brought out feelings of guilt and shame about leaving my kids. And I know that we have been joking about Justin not being able to take care of the kids, but it really is just a joke. I know that Justin will do a fantastic job while I am gone, but that doesn’t help the feeling of panic go away. I wish it did. I trust Justin and he is a wonderful father, but there is just something in my gut that won’t let me have peace about leaving them all behind.
I’ve been seeing your comments and I know that quite a few of you have felt the same way I do when you leave your children behind. But why do mothers feel guilty for doing anything outside the “Mom Job?” We have our own needs to look after, but if you are a mother, you know that once those kids come along, you start to push yourself down the priority list. Which is so normal and in some ways, it needs to happen. But, if we keep pushing ourselves down, how are we going to care for our kids if we have nothing left to give them?
We talk about this all the time as mothers. We hear things like “We can’t pour from an empty cup” and “You are more than just a mother, wife, and homemaker.” So why does it come to a point of shame when we act on those ideas and take care of ourselves?
I have a theory.
Maybe it’s because we can’t connect to the person we were before we had children. Maybe it’s because our children have become our identity. Look, I am not saying that we should neglect our children to satisfy our own needs and desires. But, I am saying that maybe we need to do a better job of forgiving ourselves for being human.
I know that my kids will be fine. I know I can FaceTime with them and call them. I know that Justin will take care of them just as well as I can. My anxieties may not be able to be drowned out by logic, but maybe I can take this opportunity to step back and assess what I need for myself. I can take this time to focus on how improving my perspective can make me a better person and a better mom. I know I am a good mom, but again, if I am not taking care of myself, how can I take care of them?
Tell Me If You Have Experienced This!
We will keep you updated on my travels and how Justin does while I am gone. Lord help him if he touches my wigs again… If you missed any of the videos we have done about me leaving, you can find them on the Mightly McClures and Playtime with Jersey.
Have you ever had to leave your kids? Let us know about your experience! Also, don’t forget to follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and to subscribe to Ava and Alexis’ YouTube Channel. For updates and exclusive content, make sure you subscribe to our newsletter as well.