Punishment Looks Different Here // How We Approach Discipline with Our Kids
New Parenting Tip?? It’s Been a Minute.
It’s been a while since we have done a true “parenting hack” blog and boy do we have one for you today! A very controversial subject in the parenting world is discipline. Some have a punishment-free parenting style and others take the issue too far. Justin and I have a somewhat unusual approach to discipline, but we believe this is what works best for our kids and our situation.
You *Might* Need Some Context.
If you have seen our recent “24hr Punishment” video, you know that the girls got into a bit of trouble for mouthing off to Justin and me. If you haven’t watched it, I encourage you to stop reading and click the link here to watch the full story before you read the deep-dive blog post.
Ava and Alexis often find themselves at a crossroads where they can either stop arguing and move on with their days or, as they most often do, start to mouth off to Justin and me. Ultimately, we understand that they are young and it’s a tale as old as time that kids will sass their parents. But, we don’t allow disrespect in this house, from anyone. So, when the twins do find themselves in a situation where they need to be reminded of that, how do we effectively discipline them?
We don’t believe that taking away their toys or TV time really leaves a lasting impact on their decision-making process. They know that eventually, they will get to play and not be grounded again and we just feel that it’s not quite as effective as the system we have in place. We believe in pushing our kids to be the best versions of themselves that they can be and if punishment has to happen, why not take advantage of the situation and put them to work?
We Give Them an Opportunity to Hone a New Skill.
Justin gave them a book of monologues to choose from and they were given the task of memorizing it in 24 hours. This may not seem like a huge task because the monologues were literally a paragraph long, but, they had a limited amount of time to accomplish this task. They didn’t have time to focus on arguing for at least a day and it added to their skill bank. They were still allowed to be creative and learn what they are capable of while having the cause of the task in the back of their minds the whole time.
Never Say “I Can’t”
For seven-year-olds, this felt like an impossible task. Both of them insisted that they were unable to completely memorize a monologue. But knowing our daughters, we knew that they were completely capable and by pushing them to accomplish this, we were showing them what we knew from the start. We never want our kids to say “I can’t” because we know that they can accomplish anything that they set their mind on and work hard to reach their goals.
In the end, the monologues were memorized WELL before they had to be. Were Justin and I surprised? No. Alexis and Ava a very talented and capable. Discipline may look a bit different in your house, but we think our method does more than just show our kids that we think that they were in the wrong. We never expected them to enjoy this assignment, and trust us, they didn’t want to do it. But now they know for sure that they can do this. They also know that if they don’t want to learn more monologues against their will, they better not talk to their parents like that again.
What Would You Do to Discipline?
How do you discipline your kids? Do you have a method that you haven’t seen other parents implement? Let us know in the comments and let us know what you think of our parenting choices.